It's Still All Good!

They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength,

they will soar as with eagles’ wings;

they will run and not grow weary,

walk and not grow faint.

-          Isaiah 40.31

 

These are the words from scripture at Evening Prayer tonight. They seem to best describe my last month of waiting. The past several weeks have been challenging at times, but have been graced filled and blessed as well.

I have indeed hoped in the Lord, and kept that hope, even on the days when it felt like I would never get to the Novitiate House.

I have soared with times of prayer, quiet, walks, journaling, serving, dialoguing with my Brothers here and at the Novitiate and with our staff.

I have run with a focus on Christ, this focus has helped me to keep calm, to be patient, to trust, and to discover the joys and blessings of this detour.

I have walked and not grown faint, my doubts have been conquered by Christ’s peace, the  overwhelming support and love of family, friends and brothers, and an openness to the journey even with a bit of an unpredicted start.

 

A thought from the reflections of Saint Francis:

Christ will be exalted through me, for to me life means Christ!

These are words that I root my journey and hope in, yes Christ indeed is my life.

 

 

A month ago I said…

It’s All Good!

And indeed it is!

By Saturday morning I will be settled into the Novitiate House and becoming familiar with routines, schedules, and life with my 14 Brothers and 4 Directors. My Visa has been approved and flights are booked.

I humbly ask for your prayers in these months ahead. Please also pray for my Brother Novices, our Directors and the Franciscans in Canada and the USA.

 

Thank you for journeying with me on this blog.

So I say for the second time… My blog will be silent now until August 2015 as I enter into my Novitiate Year and enter more fully into this Franciscan journey.

It’s All Good!

For God is Good and God's Goodness is ours to behold.

In the Waiting I Pray

Stevie’s Prayer

Hello Jesus My Friend,

Jesus, I would like to be able to run and play with the other kids,

But since you have other plans for me, I choose your plan today.

Jesus, for others who hurt you today by saying bad things,

Use my silent mouth to make up for the way they hurt you.

Jesus, for those who listened to things today that made you sad,

I heard a bird sing to make you glad.

 

Jesus, for those who use their hands or feet to hurt others,

You can use my hands and feet to be a blessing for others.

 

Jesus, for all families that don’t love each other,

I give you my family to show them how to love.

 

Come Jesus, to think in my mind, to circulate in my blood,

To breathe in my breathing, to beat in my heart.

 

Come Jesus, you live in me and let me live in you.

Jesus, I Love You.

Amen.

 

Prayer is a common part of my every day. I have specific times that I join our community for prayer, times that I pray on my own, times we gather for Eucharist and certain prayers that I have found and pray at different points in my day.

There is the Prayer to St. Michael that I end each day with, the Angel of God is my final words as I drift off to sleep, my morning prayer are words from Mother Teresa, my prayer to help me enter into the day is a stewardship prayer and a prayer to the Holy Spirit. Not to mention the German Prayer I pray at various times, the Prayer of St. Francis before the crucifix that calls me to trust in this journey and there is the prayer that calls me to keep my focus on serving in the name of Jesus.

I have always been fascinated by prayers and the way prayers are shaped and what they are saying. Some have the right words for those times of sorrow or hurting, others have words for rejoicing andgiving thanks and still others have the right words for the journey of the day. There are thousands upon thousands of printed prayers. People simply trying to express their relationship with God. I know my journals are full of my own prayers, and I have a journal that I keep prayers in that I have found that speak to me.

Over my time of waiting to join my Brothers at the Novitiate, prayer continues to fill me with strength and patience. Certain words on certain days pop out, on other days a specific prayer causes me to smile and reminds me that Jesus is present and God does know what is on my heart. I am appreciating the gift of prayer: spoken prayer, quite meditation, private prayer and communal prayer. Our calling out to God is personal and intimate and yet communal and public as we are members of the Body of Christ.

Last night before I went to bed I was reading a book of prayers. Stevie’s Prayer at the beginning of this blog was one I found. Wow! What a beautiful prayer, written by a young teenager who suffered from cerebral palsy. (I believe he passed away a few years ago at the age of 15.) Stevie added voice to my own daily prayer to be a living icon and living tabernacle of Christ. His words touched my depth and I wanted to share the gift of his words for your journey. His prayer reminded me to trust in God, to call to my mind my actions and the words of the day, and to not be afraid to call out to Jesus and offer my all in his name.

 

Jesus, I am continually yours, pray in and through me.

This day is yours, I walk with you.

Thank you for loving me and calling me to share my life as I trust in you.

Let us never be afraid to voice our prayers to our loving God.

Know of my continued prayers for you.

 

Update:

I'm still in Canada, my paper work is all in the hands of the Consulate and in final processing. Let's hope they can process quickly this week and everything will be in my hands.

 

Today marks 1 month since I unofficially entered the Novitiate (or tried to get there).

August 15 was the day that our Novitiate Year officially began, mine technically is August 19. 

 

My Novice Brothers are all doing well and I see them everyday on Skype during our community sessions. We are in the process of sharing our stories and learning about our personalities and strengths.

 

Please continue to pray for us. 

With Hope Filled Eyes

What the last few weeks have taught me about is hope. Hope is always present, we may not always be able to recognize it or its gifts but still it is here.

Over the past few weeks as I have been waiting to join my Brothers at the Novitiate it is hope that has been my outlook. Not false hope, but hope in the Lord. These weeks have been a grace-filled time.

I have been able to enter into deep prayer and foster a solitude time that is part of our Franciscan charism.

I have been able to serve (also a Franciscan charism) at our Retreat Center, helping both my Brothers and our staff, which has helped me appreciate the gift of this place and good people. It has also fanned the flame of my desire to do retreat work.

I have been able to enjoy a flexible schedule which will not exist to the same freedom when I finally join my Novice Brothers for the year.
I have also been able to enjoy the support of family and friends in a generous way with unexpected communication and conversations.

All signs of Hope, all signs of God at work in the journey, all signs of God knowing what I needed to make this transition into the intensity of the Novitiate Year. Hope has indeed filled these days. It is with hope that I look ahead, as paper work has been submitted and within a few days I should have a plane ticket in my hand and be where I am to be next. If for some reason that is not the case, I will still continue to be filled with hope.

 

The morning sunrise, a grand tree,

one more bloom, a gentle breeze,

reminds us all, both great and small

of God’s amazing and generous deeds.

 

Called to love brother and sister,

called to share, called to be,

witnesses for each day,

helping those bound to be set free.

 

Generous people fill the journey,

helping me on the way,

walking together, supporting each other,

the gift discovered in each day.

 

Surrounded by goodness and simplicity,

even if I feel the need for it to search,

nature, quiet, people and prayer

all signs of the path to new birth.

 

The adventure continues to unfold,

I ask, ‘What is next, dear Lord?’

‘Trust in me,’ is God’s response,

and so I say again, ‘yes, my Lord!’

 

Blessed indeed is the way

that Saint Francis chose to walk,

I choose to follow in this path

and know it becomes my pace and talk.

 

Most High and Generous God,

Your awesomeness is all around,

this time has been truly graced,

and I do indeed feel princely crowned.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

– Romans 12.12

There is a Flame

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,
It is calling me to dance,
It is calling me to life,
It is calling me to trust. 

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,

It is making the gospel come to life,
It is making the words of Christ real,
It is making the journey unfold.

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,
It is lighting the path,
It is lighting the darkness,
It is lighting the way of truth.

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,

It is the same one that engulfed Francis,
It is the same one that engulfed Clare,
It is the same one that engulfs the Franciscan family.

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,

It is wrapping me in light with courage and strength,
It is opening me up to hope, joy and promise,
It is encouraging me to persevere and love.

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,

It is at the very heart of me,
It is God at work in me,
It is Christ walking with me,
It is the Spirit stirring within me.

There is a flame that is burning within my soul,

It says come and follow me,
And I do so each day,
As I walk deeper with Saint Francis
By embracing the Gospel of Christ.

 My heart is ready God, my heart is ready!

 

 

Over the past week as I continue to wait for visa issues to get handled (they are much closer) I have been on a second retreat. The Journey Towards Center, the Place of Heart was our theme. While my Brother Novices journeyed on retreat at our Novitiate House, I journeyed here at our Retreat Center in Western Canada. It was a good week: a mix of quiet, prayer, reflection, daily chores, and being part of the community here and at the Novitiate (thank goodness for Skype).

Sunrise - last week of August

 

The beauty of journeying towards the center of who we are, is that we encounter Christ there. Francis himself journeyed to his center and profoundly encounter Christ. It was good for me to be able to enter this journey and encounter a small portion of what Francis discovered. Throughout the week the line, ‘My heart is ready God, my heart is ready!’ kept playing through me over and over again. I see it as an anthem of what this Novitiate Year is continually unfolding for us Novices. I see it as the anthem of my prayer life deepening and my relationship with Christ engulfing me. I see it as the anthem that captured the life of Francis and Clare and that stirs within me.

The poem I opened with, is one I wrote this spring, it seems to best describe this past week for me. I wrote it during my hermitage, it seemed unfinished when I wrote it, until I read it at the end of this week. It is amazing to me how the journey continues to intertwine and draw me in more and more. Christ definitely continues to enflame my center.

 

 

In God we move and have our being

for we are spouses, parents, siblings of Christ,

and because of this we are dwelling places of

holiness and hope,

we are temples of prayer

and the gospel brought to life!

 

My heart is ready God, my heart is ready

and Your flame burns more brightly deep within my soul.

Sacred Sunday Evening

As Sunday comes to a close and I reflect back on my day I look back with a grateful heart. Our world is hurting in so many places and I was gifted with a peaceful day to contemplate God’s goodness in my life.

As I look back on my day and my Sunday Morning Coming Down blog I realize that the gift of the Eucharist is what makes my Sundays sacred. Whether I attend Mass on Saturday night or on Sunday Morning it is the gift of the Eucharist that is my nourishment which feeds me and sustains me. Jesus himself, present for me and for all. Jesus himself, my strength for busy week days and Sundays. Jesus himself, my rest for Sabbath Sundays and quiet moments in the week. Jesus himself, my hope when the world seems so shattered and torn. Jesus himself, my peace that conquers all hate and evil.

Yes Sundays are sacred in my world, always have been, always will be. Whether it’s brunch with family or friars or friends after Mass, whether it is sleeping in because of Saturday night Mass, whether it is an early morning walk, whether it is quiet moments with a cup of tea gazing out at the world, whether it's naps or visits in the afternoon, whether it's a movie or a walk in the evening, whether it's leftovers or tablecloth meals, Jesus is present.

What more do I need to make Sundays sacred?

Emmanuel – God with us

Jesus the Bread of Life and Cup of Salvation

Our Savior, Brother and Friend
present in the sacredness of Sunday and each day.

 

Have a blessed week.

I hope your Sundays to come are sacred ones!

Sunday Morning Coming Down

One of my favorite Johnny Cash songs is Sunday Morning Coming Down. Although the song is not necessarily about a positive Sunday morning, the lines ‘Cause there’s something in a Sunday… and Sunday morning coming down’ have always called me to appreciate the gift of Sunday mornings!

I have always loved Sunday mornings, whether after a busy Saturday or a quiet one, whether the week ending was busy or spent in retreat, whether I’m at home, or on the road, Sunday morning calls me into an awareness. For whatever reason, God feels closer on a Sunday morning. There is just something sacred about a Sunday Morning.

As I journey more deeply into the Franciscan way of life, I come to appreciate Sunday mornings even more. The sacred silence, that allows me to rest in Christ.  The quiet time of prayer, that centers my day and week. The time to ponder and reflect, that reveals what God is stirring in my heart.

It is in the sacredness of Sunday morning that I begin this week. I am still waiting for my Visa to be worked out but I have hope that it will be this week. So I begin this week at our Retreat Center, at the end of a full week of Retreat with my Brother Friars. It was a good retreat, really a gift for me, since my plans changed. It was such a blessing to be nourished and filled up. It was such a blessing to celebrate with my community and see all the Brothers from our Province. It was such a blessing to spend time with our new Postulants, to reflect back on where I was a year ago, and to encourage them for the journey ahead. It was such a blessing to be welcomed into my Novice Year and begin my life as a Brother here.  It was such a blessing to begin my Novice Year right away by leading prayer, and taking on ‘household chores’ (Yes Mom, that even included cleaning the bathrooms!). It is a blessing to be here with the six Brothers that make up the community here, they have been kind and welcoming and make me feel at home.

 

 

It is in the sacredness of Sunday morning, that I look ahead to this week. I will spend some time in continued retreat. My Novice Brothers are beginning retreat this week. My director at the Novitiate has been very kind to send me the outline and so I will be connected with them through prayer, quiet and similar routine. I have much to reflect on from last week’s retreat and now even more to journey deeper. Another blessing indeed.

It is in the sacredness of Sunday morning, that I reflect back to a year ago today that began my Postulant Year. Wow! What a year indeed! So many blessings, so much growth, such deepening of the journey of faith, so many opportunities, so many people that I am grateful for and such gratitude for God’s graces poured into my life. A whole year has slipped by and now I’m into my second year of this Franciscan journey. This second year in some sense is a first year, as my life within the Order began this past week. I know that this year will also slip by and before you know it I will be a simply professed Friar.

So in the sacredness of this Sunday morning, I give thanks to God again for the gift of life, for this awesome journey and for the joy that fills my heart in being a Brother in the Order of Friars Minor!

Your steadfast love endures forever, O Lord,

It fills my life and guides my journey.

Praise be you my Lord and my God!

An Unexpected Change of Plans but Full of Blessings

My Brother, what do you ask of us?

Moved by divine inspiration, I wish to share your life in the brotherhood of the Order of Friars Minor. I ask to be admitted to your way of life that I may be tested and learn how to take on my shoulders the yoke of the Lord in love and joy. I ask to join following the example of St. Francis of Assisi, the humble servant of the Lord.

Thanks be to God! Your life in the Order of Friars Minor begins today.

 

 

This is the question I was asked, the statement I declared and the response of the community of Friars that officially begins my Novitiate Year.

A few days delayed, still in Canada, but still it’s all good!

I was received into the Order of Friars Minor with the community of brothers around me that form the brotherhood in Western Canada. Something unique from the rest of my Novice brothers. Something that I will treasure and cherish.

We continue on this week in retreat, and hopeful that all Visa issues will be resolved by weeks end.

I now am called to embrace the traditions, the mission, the fraternity and service in a concrete way but with a continued openness and willingness.  I humbly walk in the footsteps of St. Francis in the name of Christ Jesus.

I pray that I may continue to joyful reflect Christ always.

 

Almighty, eternal, just and merciful God,

Grant us in our day the grace

To do for You alone

What we know You want us to do,

And always to desire what pleases You.

-          From Opening Prayer of the Retreat