I Love You, O Lord, My Strength

Have you ever been interviewed before?

It’s an interesting experience. It calls you to be reflective of your life and actions in very real way having to answer for actions and thoughts shared beyond a journal or the privacy of one’s home. It allows your life to been seen through another’s eyes. I was interviewed today along with my Brother Michael, by a student in a creative writing class at a local university. Our interviewer (a man the same age as us) asked us good questions from all aspects of our life and was one of the most attentive people I have ever met. He probed not only heart questions, but the Franciscan way of life, our formation, our day to day living, how we live out the call to evangelize and even his clarification questions led us into deeper discussion.

Our interviewer asked questions about reflections I have written on this blog. To have someone in real life ask you questions about what you write in reflection is a whole new experience. It is different than a teacher commenting on a paper, or a letter from a friend. For me there was a greater sense of awareness of what my simple words can do or say in the big world. There was also accountability as in do I truly believe what I write and how do I put into action/live it out. Do my words match my actions? I sure hope so, for what I write on this blog comes from my heart and my lived experience as a Christian and a Franciscan. What you read and what you see is what you get I try to be as authentic here as I am in real life.

I am grateful for the opportunity to have sat down in an interview. I think I’m still processing the whole experience of bearing a bit more of my soul, but also the gift of putting more framework around what I write here. This blog is an extension of my prayer and contemplation. As my Brother Michael shared today “contemplation is more than meditation it is wonder and awe.”  That is a perfect description of what is my prayer life that feeds and fuels this written journey. It truly is wonder and awe (a beautiful gift of the Holy Spirit) that pulls me in and out of prayer. It is in my stepping aside to pray and contemplate and write that I am filled with this gift of wonder and awe and the desire to share it and live it out as a follower of Christ. Prayer is never about turning in on myself. Yes, I step away from the world and spend time with my Source when I pray, however prayer always thrusts me back into the world saying:  “live it, breath it, be aware of God in your life and the lives of people around you and continually discover the gifts of wonder and awe that is yours and for all people.”  To prayer and from prayer... I live my life trying to be a vessel of the Gospel in my words and in my living. 

Thank you S. our interviewer, for this opportunity and for the gift to reflect, to ponder, to be reminded of wonder and awe and the gift of writing.

Which leads me to my reflection for this week, Psalm 18 is a psalm that indeed filled me with wonder and awe.

I love you, O Lord, my strength.

My strength, my freedom, my deliverer, my refuge, my salvation, my stronghold.

It seems this psalmist knows my story and knows my prayers.

God is my all and my source and in this I find strength, shelter, freedom, comfort, hope and love. In turn I am in a covenant with God, this sacred relationship calls me to love God and love my neighbour. As the words, “I love you, O Lord, my strength” cross my lips in professing the golden rule of loving God with all my heart and soul and mind; then it should be the anthem that leads me to loving my neighbour as myself. To be able to say: “I love you my neighbour, my friend, my family, my sister, my brother, the persons I encounter, the strangers I meet, those whose lives are so different then my own, those who challenge me, those both near and far... declares  “I love you for you belong to God.”

The golden rule of loving God and loving neighbour calls me to right relationship with God, humanity and all creation. How well do I love? Do I share love in return? Do I share love when it is difficult? Do I share love when it is not shared with me? It is not always easy. It is only by proclaiming and living out that God is my strength, refuge and stronghold that love becomes the concrete steps I take to build the kingdom, to be in right relationship, to be Christ in the world and trust that the Holy Spirit is guiding my ways.

I Love You, O Lord, My Strength.

Be praised O God for your endless love,

which calls me to everlasting life,

which wraps me in the covenant of witness,

which challenges me to be a true witness.

For you save me from my own ways,

you hear my voice in prayer and praise,

you reach out to me in love

for your love is my refuge.

Blessed may you be O Lord,

who shows me what love truly is,

whose steadfast love is endless,

you who triumph with life over death.

You are my rock and shelter,

you send me forth and call me home,

you are wonder and awe,

you imprint on my heart life and love.

Be praised my God for you are good,

and in your goodness you see my goodness,

I am called to love you and neighbour

and I can do so only because you are my strength.

I love you, O Lord, my life.

I love you, O Lord, my way.

I love you, O Lord, my truth.

I love you, O Lord, my strength.

Image 1: Pintrest

Image 2: MP - October 28 Sunrise

Overwhelmed

Being overwhelmed often has a negative connotation to it however, last Sunday I had an experience that overwhelmed me in such a positive way. I tried to capture it in written word which still pales in comparison to the actual experience. This moment of being overwhelmed happened before, during and after Mass.  It was such a beautiful gift and one that continues to sit with me, stir my heart, causes me to dream and feeds my prayer.

On this Sunday morning
as I gather for the Eucharist
surrounded by the children of God
I am overwhelmed by the diversity
of my brothers and sisters.

The diversity of age and race
coming from all walks of life
the poor and rich, the hurting and healing,
the neighbour, the stranger, the friend
I am overwhelmed by the beauty of this communion.

It is here I feel at home
overwhelmed by the goodness each offers
all striving for a deeper connection,
all seeking strength for the journey,
all desiring nourishment for the mission.

It is good to be here and to go from here,
it is good to be united even in our uniqueness,
it is good to celebrate, pray and seek together,
for together we are overwhelmed by the love of God
and the One – Christ Jesus – who makes us one.

This is a good way to be overwhelmed.

This being overwhelmed led me to write a litany of intercessions for the Body of Christ whom I encounter in the journey and when gathered for the Eucharist. As I strive to be a vessel that radiates the joy of the gospel I continually raise up in prayer those who are one with me in the Body of Christ. I invite you to pray with me.

O Lord, in your great love hear our prayer.

For the sick and the suffering
For those who care for the hurting
For the abused and abandoned
For those who let love be the way
For those dealing with trauma
For those who build community
For those dealing with disasters
For those who serve in time of need
For the ones who long for life
For the ones who see the good in all
For those who serve generously
For those who teach and live forgiveness
For those who give what they can
For those who struggle to make ends meet
For children – for their safety, freedom, life
For parents and grandparents
For teenagers For families and friends and communities
For families in difficult situations
For teachers, nurses, social workers
For ministers and church leaders
For those seeking for answers
For volunteers
For those who serve in soup kitchens
For those who work in safe shelters
For first responders
For the poor
For those caught in addictions
For all who create a better world
For all who live in joy
For all who inspire
For a greater respect for life and creation
For...

I give all into your hands O Lord.    Amen.

Invitation

“Go therefore into the main streets, 

and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.” 

– Matthew 22

Matthew 22:1-14 is an interesting parable and one that has several strong images and one that has theological insights and statements about what was going on around Jesus and around the time the gospel was written. In reading and reflecting on the gospel and in trying to seek clarity on those images, insights and statements I was struck by the line above and have spent some time pondering it for living today and in my call to be a Friar and our call to be disciples of Christ.

Go!
We are sent
not to hoard
to be witness
to live the gospel.

Into the main streets
beyond our comfort zones
among all peoples
to be in solidarity
in our everyday living.

Invite everyone
by our actions
to the gift of life
embraced and welcomed
to prepare the way.

To the wedding banquet
relief from our burdens
for every man, woman and child
in freedom, honesty and truth
fullness of the kingdom.

Am I ready? Sure am!
Am I ALWAYS ready? Not so much!!

That is the challenge of being invited to the banquet; the invitation comes in so many ways. So many of these ways and times I feel are inopportune yet turn out to be the true invites, the true encounters with Christ, the gospel lived with and for others celebrating life and the fullness of the kingdom. God knows no inopportune time for invitation for God is always at banquet.

At times it can be easy to go, but what do we do when we go is maybe the tough part or where we seek clarity. Maybe it’s not doing anything rather being, maybe it is being nourished for the next part of the invite, maybe it is reviewing the path so far or maybe it newness that is being unfolded. We have to ask ourselves how are we continually open to the invite, to prepare and embrace this gift.

I believe each day an invitation comes and how we respond is the challenge. Do we prepare and enter in or do we “sneak” in and then get left in the darkness? Do we let the gospel penetrate our lives or do we simply just hear words? The invitation is always given, what we do with it challenges us to be ready, to be honesty, to seek fullness of life.

Thank goodness our God is merciful, full of second chances and desires for us to be at the wedding banquet. Our God continually shows us ways to be ready... to go... to invite (and hear the invite)... to the daily gift of the banquet which ultimately leads to the heavenly banquet. Thank goodness!

image from: The Newport Bride

Heirs to the Kingdom

“Listen to another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard, put a fence around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a watchtower. Then he leased it to tenants and went to another country. When the harvest time had come, he sent his slaves to the tenants to collect his produce. But the tenants seized his slaves and beat one, killed another, and stoned another. Again he sent other slaves, more than the first; and they treated them in the same way. Finally he sent his son to them, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ But when the tenants saw the son, they said to themselves, ‘This is the heir; come, let us kill him and get his inheritance.” So they seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him. Now when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?” They said to him, “He will put those wretches to a miserable death, and lease the vineyard to other tenants who will give him the produce at the harvest time.” Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the scriptures: ‘The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; this was the Lord’s doing, and it is amazing in our eyes’? Therefore I tell you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that produces the fruits of the kingdom.  - Matthew 21.33-43

“This is the heir” from the parable in Matthew 21.33-43 is obviously an image of Christ. It is also an image of each of us as we are all heirs to the kingdom. I wonder if this thought of being an heir ever crosses our minds as we forget the poor, cast aside those different from us, not welcome the stranger, as we hoard our goods, as we declare enemy lines or as we build our own vineyards for our own harvests. We build these kingdoms that will crumble and fall when really we need to look to the real kingdom that truly is ours.

The prophets and sages told us to prepare for the way, Jesus came and showed us the way and yet we still think we know the way. How blind we are.

I consider my own life. When I fail to live the gospel I profess to live by I don’t claim my role as heir. It is easy at times to be part of the mob thinking that says, “I have a better way.” At times I can hear the gospel challenge and close my ears, other times I know what is mine to do and fail to do so, and still at other times I meet other kingdom seekers – other heirs – and become jealous and guarded. The human weakness that is ours prevents us from keeping focused on the kingdom. I fail to see it the kingdom in front of me, in the poor, in the suffering, in the simple joys, in the everyday and in my own goodness.
Thankfully the King of my heart and yours; the king of my life and yours does not forget that we are heirs. God continually pours forth his mercy and love and says “you are mine, regardless of your weaknesses you are still and always an heir, let’s try again today, let us build the kingdom together, let me show you the Way – his name is Jesus and you can do all things through him.”

We each must claim being heir and be an heir that truly reflects our King. We must pray for strength and courage to do so each day.

Lord God, you claim us as heirs; help us to be kingdom builders today as we strive to live the gospel. As we move into this season of thanksgiving may our hearts be truly grateful that we are yours, that you live in us and for all that you bless us with each day.

May the harvest remind us that we are to go and bear fruit that will last.  Amen.

Brother Francis

October 3, 2017 - Transitus of St. Francis

My Dear Brother Francis,

You gave praise to God for you know he is the center of your life and draws you deeply into the love of his son Jesus, our Savior.

You prayed before the crucifix:
Most High, glorious God
enlighten the darkness of my heart.

I too echo this prayer, that our glorious and loving God may continue to shed light on my path so that with you I may walk in the love of Christ and share it with others. So many in our world seek light, I pray for the strength to be this vessel, inspired by you my brother and your living of the gospel.

You continued in prayer:
Give me true faith,
certain hope
and perfect charity (love).

My dear brother, you know the human heart and journey well. For you know that in each of us is this deep desire - who is God. It is only through faith, hope and love that we can discover God's riches as we face the challenges to live out our faith in what can seem like a faithless world, as we hold on to to hope that allows us to strive for the greater good of all and as we let love break down barriers and conquer fear. Yes my brother I hold on to faith, hope and love just as you did.

You my dear brother know the challenges of the world and call me and all people to root ourselves in Christ who is true faith, certain hope and indeed perfect love. For you have shown me that in rooting myself in Christ I am truly free to be the child of God that I was created to be.

You concluded your prayer:
(give me) sense and knowledge Lord,
that I may carry out your holy and true command.

I simply say yes, for I along with you pray (maybe even beg) each day for the sense and knowledge to know how God is calling me to serve and to gospel live. To be aware and attentive to God's will at work in my life and to live out the the true command of loving God and neighbour first. For this declares the holiness in which everyone was created and doesn't allow my selfishness or sinful self to take the lead. 

My dear Brother Francis, as we celebrate your life today and your passing to the great heavenly kingdom, we celebrate the impact you have made on Christendom and the world. I pray your prayer. In doing so I seek what I believe you sought - to let Christ radiate out from each of us. As we give thanks for your witness to love, of your servant-heart, of your pointing to Christ, of your gospel-lived life,of your embracing the small, the great and all of creation I am reminded that you said to your brothers:
I have done what is mine to do. May Christ teach you what is yours.

So as we gather to celebrate your Feast Day, this wisdom of yours reminds me that my Franciscan journey is continually about conversion and openness. I am called to carry my cross with peace and joy, as I walk in your footsteps with Christ. I am empowered to say yes in doing what is mine to do (that my Savior teaches me). In doing so I can only hope that I give praise and thanks to our Most High and glorious God.

With gratitude for the path you have shown me, I humbly ask for your prayers.

Your Brother,

Michael

St. Francis of Assisi - pray for us!

Blinded

How often am I am blinded by my own will, my own desires and my own wants?

How often do I stay trapped in this blindness making false promises and not seeing a new way?

How often do I make promises and leave them unfilled or condemn others because they have made a change and are no longer trapped by blindness?

These are the questions that I ask myself after reflecting on the following verses in Matthew's gospel.

“What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ ²⁹He answered, ‘I will not’; but later he changed his mind and went. ³⁰The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, ‘I go, sir’; but he did not go. ³¹Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. ³²For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him. - Matthew 21: 28-31

The chief priests and elders of the gospel are blinded to the change of heart that the tax collectors and prostitutes had over come with their encounter with Christ. 

Do I stay trapped in my ways because I feel secure?

Do I fear a change of heart because of the freedom it will bring?

Do I continually seek Christ in my daily living and interactions with others?

The scripture verse includes a parable of the two sons. The first son had a change of heart. He moved from the trappings of his ways, embraced freedom, became an agent of change and service and became a labourer in the field of life. His repentance, if you will, allowed for him to be moved beyond himself and embrace the work, the struggles, the joys, the community of the kingdom. The other son started with the freedom and then choose not to continue to embrace it. He instead allowed his own wants to take over and deny him true freedom and the beauty of a servant heart.

When have I had a change of heart?

When have I embraced the kingdom of God more fully? How?

When have I encouraged and supported others in their yeas/in their change of heart?

Each day we are given signs that show how deeply and madly in love God is with us. Maybe not grandiose things, but still signs. The righteous acts of a neighbour, the witness of a friend, the positive transformation of a classmate/child/relative, the kingdom being displayed in the generosity of a community, the abundance of creation, the truth spoken by the prophets of our day, the communion of saints gathering to be nourished, supported and transformed are all signs of God's deep love. These signs point or lead to a change of heart and mind, openness to the truth, freedom from blindness and hopefully an awareness of being a valued part of the kingdom and a deepening of my belief in the Truth, the Way and the Life. 

Where is my heart? Is it open? Is it blinded by the false trappings of this world? Can I set it free?

Where can I work on transformation and a change of heart?

Where do I see the signs from God that the kingdom is at hand and I have a part to play in it?

We are called to "let the same mind be in us that was in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 2.1-11). We must be open to this, so blindness does not leave us trapped, that our hearts are continually open to change and that we may embrace our part in the kingdom of God. When asked to go into the field (which is daily)... may our yes be a true yes.

Amen.