Craving God

God, you are my God, you I seek,
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands and call on your name.
My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast,
and my mouth praises you with joyful lips
when I think of you on my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me
- Psalm 63



Over the course of my Postulancy Year, I have had the great privilege of leading Taize Prayer. Tonight is the last one that I will lead. This is my brief reflection. If you get the chance to read or sing it, Psalm 63 on page 658 in Catholic Book of Worship III is the version of the psalm I make reference to in my reflection.


The first time I heard this psalm sung it was early morning on a warm summer day, I was sitting in the old chapel at Newman College. It was sung by a classmate of mine, a tall, distinguished man who sung it from the depths of his soul, because it was more than just words to him or song to sing. His voice filled the whole chapel and stirred the depths of me and spoke to my soul. It continues to do this each time I hear it and pray the words.

I don’t think I had heard this psalm before that day and if I had it had not stood out. But that day, I heard my deepest desires and my cravings, I heard my own praise and adoration, I heard my own gratitude and honesty expressed in a way I had not been able to express. Since that first time I heard it, the words of this psalm have crossed my lips over and over again. I have sung it in prayer, I have whispered it in dark times, and I have ponder its meaning and depth for me as I journey with my God.

This psalm states what the desires of life of a Christian are, to crave God each day, to know that God walks with us and blesses us and that God is our strength and hope. It reminds us that God goes before us and is with us, that God is our strength and that God is the promise of our dry land being turned into a land overflowing, and filled with milk and honey.

This psalm seems to best describe my journey that has lead me to here and now and launches me into the journey ahead. I know how I have searched for God and ached for God and how much God has found me and soothed my aching.

I desire more and more to gaze upon God. Just as Francis gazed upon the San Damiano Cross, just as Clare gazed upon the Eucharist I find myself being drawn more and more to gaze upon my God, to contemplate Christ and how he truly fills my craving and thirsting.

God’s love is my life, it is what fills me up and enables me to go forth and share the blessings that fill my life. Over and over again my life has been blessed. As I consider the places and people I have encountered, as I ponder the opportunities that have opened up the path, as I reflect on this past year and the beginning of my journey into religious life, I do indeed give praise to God and feast at the very rich table of our Generous God.

I also know that in my darkest moments, in my hurts and pains, even in my selfishness, greed, sinfulness and trying to fill my craving for God with lies I have clung to God. I have begged for mercy and help and in every moment of darkness God’s mercy and help pulls me out of my self-misery and shelters me in comfort and love. I am called to fullness and to live as the best version of the Child of God I am. Clinging to God has been the best decision I have made, for I always know God’s light is in my dark and that I am never alone.

Yes, God my God, I crave you for you are my all in all, you are my source and summit of life. When I forget this gift you gently invite me to encounter it over and over again. I thirst each day for you to pour your amazing love into my life and each day you do.

God, my God, I crave you for you are the path of life, your table is indeed rich to feast at and you always hold me close. God, my God… God, our God… you are the refreshment and life not just for me but for all people. We place our hope in knowing you are with us here and now, yesterday and tomorrow, in darkness and in light. God, our God, you we crave! Yes… You we crave and only You can fill our craving!