It's Still All Good!

They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength,

they will soar as with eagles’ wings;

they will run and not grow weary,

walk and not grow faint.

-          Isaiah 40.31

 

These are the words from scripture at Evening Prayer tonight. They seem to best describe my last month of waiting. The past several weeks have been challenging at times, but have been graced filled and blessed as well.

I have indeed hoped in the Lord, and kept that hope, even on the days when it felt like I would never get to the Novitiate House.

I have soared with times of prayer, quiet, walks, journaling, serving, dialoguing with my Brothers here and at the Novitiate and with our staff.

I have run with a focus on Christ, this focus has helped me to keep calm, to be patient, to trust, and to discover the joys and blessings of this detour.

I have walked and not grown faint, my doubts have been conquered by Christ’s peace, the  overwhelming support and love of family, friends and brothers, and an openness to the journey even with a bit of an unpredicted start.

 

A thought from the reflections of Saint Francis:

Christ will be exalted through me, for to me life means Christ!

These are words that I root my journey and hope in, yes Christ indeed is my life.

 

 

A month ago I said…

It’s All Good!

And indeed it is!

By Saturday morning I will be settled into the Novitiate House and becoming familiar with routines, schedules, and life with my 14 Brothers and 4 Directors. My Visa has been approved and flights are booked.

I humbly ask for your prayers in these months ahead. Please also pray for my Brother Novices, our Directors and the Franciscans in Canada and the USA.

 

Thank you for journeying with me on this blog.

So I say for the second time… My blog will be silent now until August 2015 as I enter into my Novitiate Year and enter more fully into this Franciscan journey.

It’s All Good!

For God is Good and God's Goodness is ours to behold.

In the Waiting I Pray

Stevie’s Prayer

Hello Jesus My Friend,

Jesus, I would like to be able to run and play with the other kids,

But since you have other plans for me, I choose your plan today.

Jesus, for others who hurt you today by saying bad things,

Use my silent mouth to make up for the way they hurt you.

Jesus, for those who listened to things today that made you sad,

I heard a bird sing to make you glad.

 

Jesus, for those who use their hands or feet to hurt others,

You can use my hands and feet to be a blessing for others.

 

Jesus, for all families that don’t love each other,

I give you my family to show them how to love.

 

Come Jesus, to think in my mind, to circulate in my blood,

To breathe in my breathing, to beat in my heart.

 

Come Jesus, you live in me and let me live in you.

Jesus, I Love You.

Amen.

 

Prayer is a common part of my every day. I have specific times that I join our community for prayer, times that I pray on my own, times we gather for Eucharist and certain prayers that I have found and pray at different points in my day.

There is the Prayer to St. Michael that I end each day with, the Angel of God is my final words as I drift off to sleep, my morning prayer are words from Mother Teresa, my prayer to help me enter into the day is a stewardship prayer and a prayer to the Holy Spirit. Not to mention the German Prayer I pray at various times, the Prayer of St. Francis before the crucifix that calls me to trust in this journey and there is the prayer that calls me to keep my focus on serving in the name of Jesus.

I have always been fascinated by prayers and the way prayers are shaped and what they are saying. Some have the right words for those times of sorrow or hurting, others have words for rejoicing andgiving thanks and still others have the right words for the journey of the day. There are thousands upon thousands of printed prayers. People simply trying to express their relationship with God. I know my journals are full of my own prayers, and I have a journal that I keep prayers in that I have found that speak to me.

Over my time of waiting to join my Brothers at the Novitiate, prayer continues to fill me with strength and patience. Certain words on certain days pop out, on other days a specific prayer causes me to smile and reminds me that Jesus is present and God does know what is on my heart. I am appreciating the gift of prayer: spoken prayer, quite meditation, private prayer and communal prayer. Our calling out to God is personal and intimate and yet communal and public as we are members of the Body of Christ.

Last night before I went to bed I was reading a book of prayers. Stevie’s Prayer at the beginning of this blog was one I found. Wow! What a beautiful prayer, written by a young teenager who suffered from cerebral palsy. (I believe he passed away a few years ago at the age of 15.) Stevie added voice to my own daily prayer to be a living icon and living tabernacle of Christ. His words touched my depth and I wanted to share the gift of his words for your journey. His prayer reminded me to trust in God, to call to my mind my actions and the words of the day, and to not be afraid to call out to Jesus and offer my all in his name.

 

Jesus, I am continually yours, pray in and through me.

This day is yours, I walk with you.

Thank you for loving me and calling me to share my life as I trust in you.

Let us never be afraid to voice our prayers to our loving God.

Know of my continued prayers for you.

 

Update:

I'm still in Canada, my paper work is all in the hands of the Consulate and in final processing. Let's hope they can process quickly this week and everything will be in my hands.

 

Today marks 1 month since I unofficially entered the Novitiate (or tried to get there).

August 15 was the day that our Novitiate Year officially began, mine technically is August 19. 

 

My Novice Brothers are all doing well and I see them everyday on Skype during our community sessions. We are in the process of sharing our stories and learning about our personalities and strengths.

 

Please continue to pray for us. 

With Hope Filled Eyes

What the last few weeks have taught me about is hope. Hope is always present, we may not always be able to recognize it or its gifts but still it is here.

Over the past few weeks as I have been waiting to join my Brothers at the Novitiate it is hope that has been my outlook. Not false hope, but hope in the Lord. These weeks have been a grace-filled time.

I have been able to enter into deep prayer and foster a solitude time that is part of our Franciscan charism.

I have been able to serve (also a Franciscan charism) at our Retreat Center, helping both my Brothers and our staff, which has helped me appreciate the gift of this place and good people. It has also fanned the flame of my desire to do retreat work.

I have been able to enjoy a flexible schedule which will not exist to the same freedom when I finally join my Novice Brothers for the year.
I have also been able to enjoy the support of family and friends in a generous way with unexpected communication and conversations.

All signs of Hope, all signs of God at work in the journey, all signs of God knowing what I needed to make this transition into the intensity of the Novitiate Year. Hope has indeed filled these days. It is with hope that I look ahead, as paper work has been submitted and within a few days I should have a plane ticket in my hand and be where I am to be next. If for some reason that is not the case, I will still continue to be filled with hope.

 

The morning sunrise, a grand tree,

one more bloom, a gentle breeze,

reminds us all, both great and small

of God’s amazing and generous deeds.

 

Called to love brother and sister,

called to share, called to be,

witnesses for each day,

helping those bound to be set free.

 

Generous people fill the journey,

helping me on the way,

walking together, supporting each other,

the gift discovered in each day.

 

Surrounded by goodness and simplicity,

even if I feel the need for it to search,

nature, quiet, people and prayer

all signs of the path to new birth.

 

The adventure continues to unfold,

I ask, ‘What is next, dear Lord?’

‘Trust in me,’ is God’s response,

and so I say again, ‘yes, my Lord!’

 

Blessed indeed is the way

that Saint Francis chose to walk,

I choose to follow in this path

and know it becomes my pace and talk.

 

Most High and Generous God,

Your awesomeness is all around,

this time has been truly graced,

and I do indeed feel princely crowned.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

– Romans 12.12