Blinded

How often am I am blinded by my own will, my own desires and my own wants?

How often do I stay trapped in this blindness making false promises and not seeing a new way?

How often do I make promises and leave them unfilled or condemn others because they have made a change and are no longer trapped by blindness?

These are the questions that I ask myself after reflecting on the following verses in Matthew's gospel.

“What do you think? A man had two sons; he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ ²⁹He answered, ‘I will not’; but later he changed his mind and went. ³⁰The father went to the second and said the same; and he answered, ‘I go, sir’; but he did not go. ³¹Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you. ³²For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him; and even after you saw it, you did not change your minds and believe him. - Matthew 21: 28-31

The chief priests and elders of the gospel are blinded to the change of heart that the tax collectors and prostitutes had over come with their encounter with Christ. 

Do I stay trapped in my ways because I feel secure?

Do I fear a change of heart because of the freedom it will bring?

Do I continually seek Christ in my daily living and interactions with others?

The scripture verse includes a parable of the two sons. The first son had a change of heart. He moved from the trappings of his ways, embraced freedom, became an agent of change and service and became a labourer in the field of life. His repentance, if you will, allowed for him to be moved beyond himself and embrace the work, the struggles, the joys, the community of the kingdom. The other son started with the freedom and then choose not to continue to embrace it. He instead allowed his own wants to take over and deny him true freedom and the beauty of a servant heart.

When have I had a change of heart?

When have I embraced the kingdom of God more fully? How?

When have I encouraged and supported others in their yeas/in their change of heart?

Each day we are given signs that show how deeply and madly in love God is with us. Maybe not grandiose things, but still signs. The righteous acts of a neighbour, the witness of a friend, the positive transformation of a classmate/child/relative, the kingdom being displayed in the generosity of a community, the abundance of creation, the truth spoken by the prophets of our day, the communion of saints gathering to be nourished, supported and transformed are all signs of God's deep love. These signs point or lead to a change of heart and mind, openness to the truth, freedom from blindness and hopefully an awareness of being a valued part of the kingdom and a deepening of my belief in the Truth, the Way and the Life. 

Where is my heart? Is it open? Is it blinded by the false trappings of this world? Can I set it free?

Where can I work on transformation and a change of heart?

Where do I see the signs from God that the kingdom is at hand and I have a part to play in it?

We are called to "let the same mind be in us that was in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 2.1-11). We must be open to this, so blindness does not leave us trapped, that our hearts are continually open to change and that we may embrace our part in the kingdom of God. When asked to go into the field (which is daily)... may our yes be a true yes.

Amen.

God's Generosity

Matthew 20.1-16 is the parable of the landowner and the labourers. It is an interesting parable often used for various statements on serving, for vocations, on justice. The final line often catches everyone's attention: "The last will be first, and the first will be last." It is no doubt a challenge for us as followers of Christ. However the line just before it, the last words of the landowner caught my attention. He says, "Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?" I hear our Generous God ask these two questions with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and a joy yet challenge in his voice. It had me thinking about how generous our God really is even when we don't acknowledge, see or remember this gift of generosity.

God's Abundant Generosity

In every breath we breathe,
in every move we make,
in every sight we see,
God's generosity abounds.

When trials come and we persevere,
when demands come and we are patient,
when curve balls come and we stay the course,
God's generosity abounds.

In the moments we don't count the cost,
in the moments we learn to surrender,
in the moments we embody humility,
God's generosity abounds.

When we help the neighbour and the foe,
when we rise above the noise with peace,
when we share respect with and for all,
God's generosity abounds.

In serving with a joyful heart,
in being present in the here and now,
in giving of ourselves freely,
God's generosity abounds.

When we are eager and give our all,
when we are stuck and give what we can,
when we are drained and give the little we have,
God's generosity abounds.

In building a kingdom of love - not our own,
in building communities that bring life,
in building up those around us,
God's generosity abounds. 

When we acknowledge our wrongs,
when we seek forgiveness,
when we discover all we are given,
God's generosity abounds.

In realizing our life is not a possession,
in realizing our daily blessings,
in realizing we always belong to God,
God's generosity abounds.

When being first slips away,
when being last becomes fruitful,
when being generous in who we are and with what we have,
God's generosity abounds.

Daily... no matter what... recognized or not....
God's generosity abounds!
Amen.

Cross = Love

This week I read a quote from David Haas - the composer of many church hymns, which read:

"Our vocation is always to be a witness of God's love."

Amen I say to that, Amen indeed! It is a reminder that we are loved and our living calls us to authentic living, honest living and it calls us to love in our every day in little ways not just in the grand moments. It calls us to know that we are God's and because of this love is always ours. Always.

This past week we celebrated the Exultation of the Cross. This is a beautiful reminder that love is our way and is indeed how we are called to live and witness.

"We adore you, O Christ, and we praise you, 

because by your cross you have redeemed the world."

The cross and resurrection of Jesus is the the truth that love is rooted in and the way in which we are to love is made obvious and evident in our Savior Jesus Christ. His love took him to the cross - abandoned, rejected, emptied and yet it was so full of love. We look to the Him, the One who gave his all and who loved to the end. We look to the One who chose love over revenge and who made love the authentic way of living. We look to the One who laid every piece of love down on that cross as he had done his whole life, so that in turn we would know that we are loved and he shows us how we are to love.

Yes in our world love is battered, broken, abused, beaten, profaned and even destroyed. We do it to ourselves and we allow others to do it to themselves and to us. Our world is so desperately seeking love and filling it with false loves. At times we fail to grasp the power of love. We fail to see that love is patient, kind, courageous, and calls us to be a witness. May the reminder that we were first loved by God and that the cross is a sign of this love encourage us to claim love and let it be the way we witness to the world. Let it be the way we enter into our vocation each day.

The love of Christ compels us,
it pushes us forward,
it says we have life,
it claims our holiness,
it is our hope,
it is always ours,
it can never be taken away,
so let us love, for God is love
and we are held always in this love.
Amen. 

Christ is Among Us

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, 

I am there among them." - Matthew 18.20

I have been sitting with this line from the Gospel of Matthew this week. It is good to be reminded that Jesus is with us always (Emmanuel) in the journey, especially as fall routines take shape and we are bombarded with demands and roles to fulfill and challenges of being community.

This reflection is broken into two parts (where two or three reflections are in his name - Jesus is there :) - I hope so!) both are prayers that this piece of scripture called out of me. It comes from my desire to see and be aware of Christ more and more in my every day - in relationships, interactions, simple meetings, intense moments, creation, busyness and quiet.

Strength for the journey Lord Jesus,
there is so much going on
and so much goodness in my life,
and so many demands,
and just little things that make a difference...
I trust in you.

I trust that you are my strength, 
my courage, my drive to do all in your name, 
to seek your will and radiate you.

When days seem long
and the load is heavy
I trust you walk with me.

When tasks become too many
and the need to be present is draining
I trust you are strength to do and be.

When the rushing around is endless
and more gets added each day
I trust you are my guide.

When the tiredness takes hold
and emotions run high
I trust you are peace.

When the seeking and searching are continual
and I fail to see you here
I trust you are with me
and will remind me of that always.

You Lord are strength for the journey.

Be present Lord
in our daily gatherings
in our comings and goings
in our work and play.

Be present Lord
when we gather as family
when we welcome friend and stanger
when we help a neighbour.

Be present Lord
in our time of prayer
in our time of leisure
in our time of rest.

Be present Lord
when stresses weigh us down
when burdens seem too heavy
when fears trap us in.

Be present Lord
in the breaking of our bread
in the scripture we share
in the peace we offer each other.

Lord, remember your promise to be present where 

two or three are gathered in your name!

Enticed by the Flame

"If I say, I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name, then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I am weary with holding it in, and I can not."
                                                                                - Jeremiah 20.9

This line really stuck me and stood out for me this weekend. I think this burning fire is something that continues to burn within me and desires to burst forth at times and at other times simmer more to take in its power. I come to understand more how it is possible not to contain it for it fills my body and soul. It penetrates me, continually enticing me more and more to the source of whom I belong to and how immense and full and intense that love is.

How can I not speak of the Lord?
                                            Look at all the blessings.
How can I not have the Lord come through in my words and actions?
                                                                                           Look at how present God is.

I profess to be a follower of Christ. At times I stumble along the path, at other times my sinfulness traps me and at other times I am lured by the world but still in my weakness, my body and soul yearn for God and I am continually drawn back by God's love, mercy and goodness.

God's love, mercy and goodness is the burning fire that is shut up in my bones, it is the strength of my bones, it is the flow of my blood. These riches consume me and fan the flame and cause it to burst forth and propel me to serve, to grow deeper in love, to claim my faith, to proclaim the Good News in this day, to be a positive voice, person of love in action and to trust that God is at work in me. This adds fuel to the fire - if you will - so that I may be a voice that proclaims God, a life that is wrapped in God's love and a Child of God that can not contain how good God is always. That simply amazes me that I, that you, that each of us are these vessels that hold the flame of God and God's love within and yet can not contain it.

You indeed entice me O God,
and that is beautiful.
It is again the gift of knowing
you are ever at my side
and that I am precious in your sight.
Continue to do something new in me,
as the fire of your love is fanned
and strengthened in my life.
Amen.

How do you share the burning fire?
This week let us not hold it in, let us be bearers of light - God's love.

Strive

In my reflection last week on renewing my vows I used the word strive. This word struck a cord with me as I spent time in reflection and with a few other people since I posted my reflection. I have continued to ponder what it means to me.

The dictionary definition of strive is:

       make great efforts to achieve or obtain something.

  

       or

       struggle or fight vigorously

The dictionary definition lends to my pondering and thoughts. As I consider what it means to strive, it is a word that I want to bring some depth to in the months ahead. I find it a powerful word, one of action, one of hope, a positive word, a word that says 'I am open, I am working at being present, being real, aware, awakened to God's goodness in creation, in others and in myself.'

Strive says I am willing and the path and journey with others.

Strive means continuing on with effort and vitality in the good, the trials, the dull and in the new.

Strive is awareness of what I offer, my blessings and the gifts of others.

Strive is keeping focused on Christ in the everyday, in the interactions with life and others.

Strive is exciting; not like a new toy or gift, but a depth, a sustenance, a God rooted energy that calls me to life, to see with new eyes, to be who I am and to know that God is at work always.


The morning of the day I renewed my vows the following verse was sung at Morning Prayer:

Make us servants of your peace,
renew our strength, remove all fear,
be with us, Lord, throughout this day,
for all is joy, when you are near.

There is an honesty in this verse, a desire, to me it speaks of striving.

We continually strive to be God's servant; which is a gift and blessing. This gift and blessing is not always easy but one with rewards beyond knowing. It is a challenge to be messengers of hope, joy and peace. God's peace is part of God's strength which then empowers us to be peace, for it is rooted in God.

We strive to plant deep within us that God is our strength and only God can continually renew our strength. God calls us to ways to renew our strength whether that is times of prayer or retreat, a walk, insights, support, kindness shown or rest. God is our strength beyond strength and when we remember that and embrace that our fears subside. Our fears disappear when we focus on God.

We strive to remember that God is always with us in each moment. In trials and joys, in hurts and blessings God is with us. God desires nothing more than to be with us and for us to be with God. When it is hard to remember that God is present here, may God clear our minds and bring us surety and strength to know that we are never abandoned by God.

We strive to embrace that God is pure joy, the fullness of joy, the depth of joy that resides in the depths of our heart and calls us to radiate joy into the world. God's joy illumines our own joy and calls us to share joy. May we be joy-bearers in the name of Jesus, to be witnesses of the Good News and strive always to bring more joy into the world.

God of Life, Brother Jesus, Holy Spirit
you are my all,
I strive to be your servant,
filled with peace, strength and joy
and to radiate you into the world
for I know you are always at my side.
Amen. 

So yes I will strive to be the person I am created to be as a child of God and the brother that St. Francis calls me to embrace on this journey.

Here is to the gift, blessing, challenge and the desire to strive.

 

I Do...Again.

In a matter of a few hours I will renew my vows for the second time and mostly like for the last time in Christ the King Province as the unification of the two Canadian Provinces is becoming an even greater reality over the next few months. As I ponder my vows again I don't hesitate in renewing them, even in the chaos of this week, even with the moments of fraternal frustration, even with a tired body from summer adventure and even with a restlessness that I can't quite put my finger on I still am ready and willing to renew my vows.

I renew my vows this year with a greater desire and hope to discover St. Francis even more and come to appreciate my brothers, whom I love, even more.

I renew with the hope of a Province united that will only empower and enrich the Canadian Church.

I renew with the hope that the restlessness that I know if met with clarity as I deepen my commitment to Christ and this Franciscan way of life.

I renew with the desire to be a brother filled with even more joy, courage and drive.

I renew with the deepening awareness of God's will at work not my own or anyone else.

I come to my vows trusting that Mary our Blessed Mother wraps her mantle around me and that the holy saints are walking with and that dear Sister Clare and dear Brother Francis continue to shine their light on my path... this path that I echoes with the psalms... "my heart is ready Lord, my heart is ready."

I strive to live my vows this next year as a lesser brother with honesty, integrity, and openness.

I strive to let the Gospel infuse my life even more and be even more my way of life; hearing the words of Christ as my daily mantra and truly making them my mission statement.

I strive to live in the obedience the gospel calls me to and that which my Province dialogues with me.

I strive to live with nothing of my own, embracing Franciscan Poverty to the depths of solidarity and how I use power.

I strive to live in chastity, professing a chaste love for all of God's creation; being welcoming, open and a witness and agent to God's love at work.

Some of my Brothers

This I know will take effort and work and revitalization on my part, as I seek God's will I simple say may the Lord continue to inspire me in my Franciscan living. I place my trust in the Lord and I remember that St. Francis challenges me to be fraternal, to serve, and to continue to build the kingdom, for as he said: "up until now we have done very little/nothing."

God of Peace, God of Joy, God of all Good I trust in You as I renew my vows.
Thank you for your amazing and endless love. Amen.

To you who read this blog I humbly ask your prayers for the Franciscans in Canada and for myself.