4 3 2 1

When I began this journey as a Postulant, there were four of us in initial stages of formation 1 Novice and 3 Postulants. Fast forward 2 months and there was 1 Novice and 2 Postulants fast forward another 3 months and there was now 2 Postulants, fast forward to today and now there is just me.

Over the course of this year those who I have entered with or were initial stages of formation have left for various reasons. Postulancy and Novitiate Years are meant for this type of discernment. These years are formative and ask us: Is this your calling? Are you called to be Franciscan? Is religious life for you?

Out of our group, 1 left for his home country, 1 left to pursue other interests and 1 has left to apply for diocesan priesthood. I know it has not been easy for any of them and I know prayer has played a part in their discernment.

So now I get asked ‘are you staying?’ or ‘why are you staying?’ or ‘are you going to be okay by yourself?’

So let me answer those questions…

1. Are you staying?
Yes! Yes I am staying on the journey to become a Friar. I am staying for a while longer in my Postulancy House and coming to understand more about community, deepening my prayer life, facing new challenges and embracing the gift of religious life. The journey will continue on into Novitiate and then into life as a simply professed Brother. Staying is about life, about commitment, about listening to God and trusting that voice.

2. Why are you staying?
Good question! Why am I staying? I have been reviewing and pondering this over the past few days. I am staying because there is a deep peace that settles in my heart when I think about the future and when I focus on where I am today and how I have grown. I am staying because even when things are not ‘perfect’ there is always a greater sense of hope, of promise and of understanding more what it means to be a brother. I am staying because my discernment process over a year ago was very good and clearly opened me up to this gift. I am staying because my on-going discernment leads me to where I am and where my future takes me. I am staying because the gift of being a Friar has become entwined in my gifts and skills and desire to offer both as the best version of myself. I am staying because the thought of staying excites me and fills me with hope.

3. Are you going to be okay by yourself?
Well so far so good, because I know I’m never really by myself. Besides knowing that Jesus is at my side always and that Francis continues to point a way to Jesus there are always others on the journey.

I am currently in a community that offers experience, challenges me, makes me laugh and helps me to look at being a Brother from many angles.

I have amazing people in my corner both near and far that support me through prayers, thoughts, encouragement and deep love. In this set of amazing people I have the support of my family and dear friends who remind me again and again… ‘be yourself… offer you… share your gifts…’. That good advice helps me when frustrations or setbacks cloud my ‘staying’ power.

I look forward to forming a new community with other Novices (in a few short months) who are also ‘staying', searching, are welcoming and who understand the journey of religious life. Brotherhoods are beginning to take shape which will turn out to be bonds that will strengthen the next part of the journey.


There you have it, the reasons why I am staying and I do believe they reflect my initial reasons that led me into this amazing journey.

For the journey so far I am thankful,
Three things keep me focused on the ‘goal’ – Jesus, Francis and Hope
To be open and to continue to dream are the roots of my staying…
One Life that’s all we get, and what journey it is…
I never thought I would be here but I wouldn’t trade it in now, that’s for sure!

St. Francis once said:
It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
The journey is to be continued…

We Are An Easter People

Easter Joy,
Even when it’s not ‘perfect’ still the joy remains
for it is has to do with Christ Risen with us,
calling us to fullness of life again!

Easter Peace,
settles deep within our souls,
for knowing death is conquered,
giving us an eternal home.

Easter Hope,
calls us forth from the grave,
to dream, to create, to embrace,
to be the best we can be.

Easter Love,
unites us with those both near and far
who know our Risen Savior
is with us each and every day.

Easter is our season,
it names us who we really are,
brothers and sisters of Risen Jesus,
beloved children of our God.

May Easter Joy and Peace,
May Easter Hope and Love,
guide our footsteps always
as we claim our true identity!

Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!

Alleluia!!!

Covered in Glory and Great Things

The Easter Vigil is full of so much, it is such a great night! It is the Night of Nights, it has rich symbols, it is rooted in ancient customs and traditions, and it is the story of our salvation! It is way more than a regular Saturday Night Mass!

One of my most favorite parts of the Vigil is the readings from the Old Testament, it tells my story, your story, our story. One of my most favorite readings is Exodus 14 (it is the third one proclaimed and always proclaimed), the story of Moses parting the Red Sea and God’s people crossing through to new life (The movie Prince of Egypt is a great version of this story). This past week as part of my formation we each had to pick a reading from the Triduum and share about it. This is my reflection on Exodus 14.

There are things that keep us from God.
Things we put in the way,
Things of the world that distract us,
Things that block our vision,
Things that keep us lost in a sea of uncertainty.

Even with all these things trying to drown us,
We must remember that we are God’s chosen ones and
God walks with us and calls us to trust in the
Path that is laid before us for
God’s deep love lights our way.

God is constantly at work in our lives,
In magnificent ways and in small ways,
In sea splitting awesomeness and In soften heart moments,
God is continually in all the moments in our life.

God’s glory is all around us,
In the beauty of creation,
In the words of scripture,
In the gift of family and friends,
In the life well lived and travelled.

Through the journey,
Through the bad and good,
Through the magnificent moments and small moments,
Through the life that is ours
We are called to give our praise to God.

We are called to sing to the Lord for He has done great things.
As God’s glory is gained through his outstretched hands,
Through God’s freeing love and the waters of rebirth,
Through gaining an entire people to God’s self and
Through God’s reign that knows no end.

Our oppression, our hardness of heart, our mud, our clogged chariot wheels,
our sinfulness, our failed dreams, our lost hope, our deep hurts,
Washed away in the waters of the parted Red Sea and in the Waters of Baptism.

It is a story about Trust and that is a good thing,
for Yes, we sin, but more importantly we are God’s beloved children,
So let us trust in Lord and
Sing to the Lord for he has done great things and continues to do great things.

Baptism is what unites us with God, but it is also our love response to God in community.

Holy Week: Challenging & Nourishing

Holy Week – the week of weeks. The week that we immerse ourselves into the sacrifice of Christ and it’s deep impact on our lives. For us who claim to be witnesses of Christ, this week is both challenging and nourishing.

Challenging for us to keep watch with Christ, to walk with Him to Calvary and to go against the temptations of society to do as little as possible to meet our ‘faith requirements’ in these holy days. Get through, get it done, make an appearance, and get our Christian token for being present during the high holy days. It is always a challenge to walk the walk but especially during Holy Week.

Nourishing for us if we enter into the journey with Christ. To truly listen to the words we hear proclaimed, experience the richness of the signs and symbols, confess our sinfulness but embrace the gift of life eternal, and be fed by our Savior himself. Nourished through personal prayer and community celebrations, nourished by hope, nourished by a love that surpasses all our expectations.

Challenging and nourishing… two perspectives I walk with this week.

As I enter this week I am reminded that Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Jesus,
when the path is uncertain,
when the road is blocked,
when the journey is slow,
remind me You are The Way.

When voices taunt me,
when society pressures me,
when evil seduces me,
remind me You are The Truth.

When I don’t value life,
when I feel unworthy,
when I am scared and lost,
remind me You are The Life.

Jesus,
You embrace me with your deep love,
I walk with you during this Holy Week,
I face the challenges and
desire You as nourishment
for I desire to Come and Follow You…
My Way, My Truth and My Life.

There Are Times - Post Retreat Reflection

Ron Rolheiser once said, "The Paschal Mystery is the secret to life." 

Over the past few days I have been a part of a very powerful retreat that truly focused on the

Paschal Mystery and how we are entwined in this secret of life. These are my thoughts after walking in a very intimate way with Christ over the past days.

There are times we try to stay bound in the tomb of Lazarus,

but Christ calls to us, “Come out, be unbound!”
We need to choose life.

There are times we don’t want our feet to be washed,

but Christ stoops low and washes for he needs us with him.
We need to choose mercy.

There are times we think it is easier to stay in the Garden of Gethsemane,

but Christ reminds us that he too left the garden of agony.
We need to choose strength.

There are times when carrying the cross is heavy and it hurts,

but Christ says, “The cross is not easy but I will be at your side.”
We need to choose courage.

There are times we crucify ourselves over and over again,

but Christ was crucified once for all.
We need to choose rebirth.

There are times we don’t want to see our wounds,

but Christ whispers, “See my wounds, by them you are healed.”
We need to choose grace.

Jesus,

I trust in you and in your love and mercy,

Even when I forget how readily you share it.

Help me to let go of my sinfulness,

Help me not to get stuck in it,

Help me find courage to identify it

and turn it over to your goodness.

For you have made me holy and good.

You love me endlessly and desire for me

to be filled with your goodness

and to share your light.

For I am your beloved and you have a place

for me in your kingdom here and where you reign.

Thank you for your love,

Thank you for filling me with life and goodness.

Amen.

These words from Mother Teresa were some of the closing remarks from the retreat.

My Life is an opportunity, I will benefit from it.
My Life is beauty, I will admire it.
My Life is a dream, I will realize it.
My Life is a challenge, I will meet it.
My Life is a duty, I will complete it.
My Life is a game, I will play it.

My Life is costly, I will care for it.

My Life is rich, I will wisely share it.

My Life is love, I will love it.

My Life is a mystery, I will discover it.
My Life is a promise, I will fulfill it.
My Life is sorrow, I will overcome it.
My Life is a song, I will sing it.
My Life is a struggle, I will accept it.
My Life is a tragedy, I will confront it.
My Life is an adventure, I will dare it.
My Life is too precious, I will not destroy it.
My Life is life, I will save it.

My Life is Christ, I will Live it.

• Mother Teresa (edited)

“I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1.6